My daughter asked me what we could do to spread education and laughter during this time. Since we’ve been working through the Do’s and Do Nots lately, we thought we might share our list with you. Hopefully you can find some value in it and share a laugh with us at the same time. It’s tough to find things to smile about right now, but we continue to look for ways to boost our family’s morale and keep a positive attitude. Be safe and healthy. – The Smiths
All illustrations by Lauren Smith, age 10
1) Do sanitize your hands by washing them for at least 20 seconds. Do not sanitize them with fire.
2) Do practice social distancing by keeping at least 6 feet away from others. Do not practice social distancing by loading violators of your personal space onto catapults.
3) Do stock your home with essentials. Do not stock your home with essential oils.
4) Do check various news outlets to keep up with the latest public health orders. Do not check various news outlets to keep up with the Kardashians (they’re probably fine).
5) Do stay home if you feel sick or are running a fever. Do not run through the streets singing songs from “License to Ill”
6) Do check in on older relatives by phone. Do not check in on older relatives by pony express.
7) Do try to help small restaurants out by ordering to go or curbside pickup for food. Do not try to help small restaurants out by ordering to go or curbside pickup for their house band.
8) Do stock a reasonable amount of dry goods including toilet paper. Do not stock up an amount of dry goods sufficient to wrap city hall.
9) Do send your questions and suggestions to your council person via email, text, and social media. Do not cut out the letters from a magazine, and then staple the note to your council person’s forehead.
10) Do take your temperature regularly. Do not take your temperature irregularly.
11) Do drink plenty of water to stay hydrated. Do not tell your spouse that “on the rocks” counts as hydration.
Dad won’t explain this joke, so there’s no sketch.
12) Do strategically use UV in your home to kill other common viruses. Do not strategically use UV outside of your home to kill other common viruses.
13) Do try not to annoy your wife just because you’re bored. No, seriously, leave her alone. There’s no joke here, she’s pointing her “angry teacher” finger at me and is making me type this.
Sketch not approved by management.